DID

DID

What is DID you may ask? Well, the long way to say it is Dissociative Identity Disorder. My doctors explained it to me like this; according to professionals and tests done, it is caused by repeated physical or sexual abuse as a child or severe trauma (Alters in dissociative identity disorder: Metaphors or genuine entities? Merckelbach, Harald ; Devilly, Grant J. ; Rassin, Eric Clinical Psychology Review, 2002,)   Others claim that there is not enough evidence to conclude this. These skeptics claim that DID has nothing to do with childhood trauma. They believe it to be something else, though they are not sure what. (Piper, August, and Harold Merskey. "The persistence of folly: A critical examination of dissociative identity disorder. Part I. The excesses of an improbable concept." Canadian Journal of Psychiatry) The separate personalities, or alters, are created to protect the person with DID from painful or harmful memories. This is called dissociation. (Alters in dissociative identity disorder: Metaphors or genuine entities? Merckelbach, Harald ; Devilly, Grant J. ; Rassin, Eric Clinical Psychology Review, 2002,)  They can separate traumatizing events into another entity thereby usually blocking the memory or event from the actual person. 

These alters can have separate memories, appearances, personalities, history, age, gender, emotions, and psychological disorders. Some of the memories alters may have are false, and can confuse the actual person. Sometimes, several of the alters are aware of each other. (Alters in dissociative identity disorder: Metaphors or genuine entities? Merckelbach, Harald ; Devilly, Grant J. ; Rassin, Eric Clinical Psychology Review, 2002, Vol.22(4), pp.481-497 [Peer Reviewed Journal]) The alters are often locked in time, containing certain memories the person has either blocked or forgotten. Individual alters may come out when needed. For example, if the person is scared an alter that is strong and brave may appear. (Howell, Elizabeth F. The Treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder. Routledge, 2012.)

‘Well but what happens in the brain for this to happen?’  You’re wondering. I was shown some tests and studies done and they came to several conclusions. In one test, there were differences in the blood flow in the frontal and occipital areas of the brain compared to healthy people. And there was also slower blood flow in DID patients orbitofrontal areas. But there was quicker blood flow in DID patients in the medial and superior frontal and occipital areas of the brain. (Frontal and occipital perfusion changes in dissociative identity disorder. Vedat Sar,Seher N. Unal,Erdinc Ozturk Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging. Elsevier. 15 December 2007.) In another study, people with DID were put through tests and then the results were compared with the results from people without DID. It was discovered that people with DID have significantly smaller hippocampal and amygdalae. These results have also been found in people with PTSD, and depression. Many people diagnosed with DID are also diagnosed with PTSD. (Vermetten, Eric, et al. "Hippocampal and amygdala volumes in dissociative identity disorder." American Journal of Psychiatry 163.4 (2006): 630-636.) So they have found differences in people with DID as compared to a person without it, but they haven’t concluded as to what causes those differences in the first place.

It can take five to twelve years to be diagnosed with DID. For me it was six years. People with DID are often missed diagnosed with things like schizophrenia and can be institutionalized. These misdiagnoses are because the switching of alters can be very subtle.  (Howell, Elizabeth F. The Treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder. Routledge, 2012.)

When I was five, I started not remembering huge pieces of time. I would open my eyes and be somewhere with no memory of going there.  I was taken to doctor after doctor with no results